


Liar.

by crimsoxcore



Series: racing hearts & ticking clocks - [higurashi oneshots and stories] [16]
Category: Higurashi no Naku Koro ni | Higurashi When They Cry
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Heavy Angst, Hinamizawa Syndrome, Inner Dialogue, Internal Monologue, Mental Instability, Mistrust, Other, POV First Person, Sad Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Story within a Story, rena pov, thoughtfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-17 22:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15471363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsoxcore/pseuds/crimsoxcore
Summary: Rena was sick of it all. Sick of being lied to constantly, and sick of being trapped in a power struggle. She just wanted someone to listen to her. Was it really too much to ask?





	Liar.

They're going at it again. I watched them all bark those ugly insults at each other, hoping to dominate the other, hoping to shut the other up. I watched as the more ambitious, loud one, Mion, smirked cockily at the poor boy across the room. The friends around her backed her up with no hesitation, without question, just shouting hate at the other. The other boy, not so liked due to the way he was, was noticeably wincing at how harsh they were being.

  
_For what reason?'_ I thought as they continued laughing at him. _'Was it to be more liked and popular?'_

It especially bothered me, when someone was this well-liked for no reason. When they did nothing to deserve it, and are just are filthy and rotten just like the rest of us. It didn't make even a shard of sense.

"Rena, Rena!"

A familiar voice pierces into my thoughts and I look up at the source. Mion was clearly looking at me and I could feel that prideful aura of hers pouring out.

I made myself force a kind smile and ask, "Yes Mion? What is it?"

I had to fake a perky, enthusiastic tone. But in reality, I knew where this was going. She had challenged young Toshiki to cards, but her arrogant behavior about her little win pissed me off especially. Inukai was sitting in a corner, by himself. I wish she hadn't have been so ignorant to the fact that he had lost his grandmother to the "curse" long ago, and playing the game was her favorite pastime. She would always let him win, however, but he had no clue. But when Mion beat him, and hard, he was crushed. It was so innocent and cute, and sometimes, I wish he was my little brother as if this responsibility could soften the increasing flame.

Now, he was unable to accept the loss and pointed his finger at Mion and accused her of cheating at the game. Knowing Mion, that may have been exactly what she did, and now she was yelling at him for being a sore loser. The rest of the class was standing up and cheering for Mion, and Inukai Toshiki looked so broken and alone there, with no one to fall back on.

I've talked to him a lot recently since he was kidnapped in exchange for money. Such a horrific thing for such a young child to experience. But it felt so nice that Rena was able to be there for someone, and give them hope.

Despite the fact that the entire concept of hope, is a lie.

_But more on that later._

I snapped out of my daze. "Mion? How'd it go? You do well?" She began to laugh, that obnoxious, quirky laugh of hers.

"I totally put him in his place! Ha! No one is to ever underestimate Mion Sonozaki!" She chuckled some more. "Not only that, but the class was cheering for me! Legit everyone backed me up, it was unbelievable!"

My silence had begun to bug her.

"Rena? Are you listening? Is everything alright?" I looked back at her directly in the eyes Not wanting to disappoint Mion, I smiled, however, my smile began to waver, growing irritated at how show-offy Mion was being

 _'Go compliment yourself to someone who cares,'_ I thought to myself. But did I, did I? Was I Mion's friend? Was I supposed to? My throat was itching again, but I didn't really care. I didn't even bother to scratch it anymore.

However, the itching got worse, so I had to tear out a few strands of hair to distract myself. It's weird, but occasionally, I can feel someone tugging on it, or just running damp fingers through while whispering something that I could never hear clearly.

Though, if I listen closely, it sounds as if they are saying "I'm sorry."

Mion looked at me, concerned, probably because I had spaced out again.

"Rena? Is something wrong?" _Shit_..she noticed.

"Oh, um, nothing!" I gave her a half smile.

"I was just thinking.." I began, then she looked confused. Stupid, typical Mion.

"Huh? Thinking about what?" I gave her a soft laugh and continued.

"Do you want to know the real reason they cheered and clapped for you?" She arched an eyebrow in question. I cleared my throat.

"It isn't because they were proud, or cared about your victory" She began to look annoyed.

"Rena, everyone clapped and cheered because I won. They were rooting for me."

So ignorant, I loved it. "No Mion, it's because they like you." She looked even more confused as before, and I began to worry she didn't even understand what I was telling her at all.

"You're one of the oldest girls in our school. You're talented, pretty, happy, outgoing, and not to mention famous around the village, little heir to the sonozaki house."

That got her attention. "Of course they'll support you, people across the village bow down to you already." She raises an eyebrow. "But with such a little fan club, why do you come brag to me? What do you really want from me, Mion? Do you want me to bend on my knees and curtsy for you?"

Her eyes went wide. "But Rena..we are friends...remember?"

_Liar._

I hate it when people _lie_ to me. She looked at me in shock. "That's not true, Rena!"

_Liar._

A dim-witted little liar, tossing her lies back and forth just to keep Rena tied into these ropes. "Just think about it, Mion." I tried to talk to her softly and calmly, but Mion didn't calm down. She grew angry.

"Why can't you just support me, Rena! I've had enough of your bullshit, so random and with nothing to back yourself up!" I could care less anymore. She just proved that she was lying. If I was really supposed to "support" HER and whatnot, then where the hell was she? Where was anyone? She's no friend. She's just a manipulative little bitch. I don't even want to be dragged around by Mion anymore.

It killed me. She demanded respect from me when she did nothing to deserve it, nothing in return. Where was she when I needed someone to fall back on?

Just like my relationship with my family. We used to be close, it was all perfect. Then someone snapped. In my case, that was my mother. She dumped a bunch of money from my father, and left, carrying the offspring of a strange woman. If I go back far enough, it's all her fault That I've become so vulnerable. My dad was the only person who didn't leave me. He didn't lie and keep secrets from me.

He didn't scream into the phone about how much it sucks to carry an inconvenience of being a single mother with another awful, whiny daughter holding him back. So when she asked me the question, still echoing into my head to this day Well spoiler alert mother I don't go home an side with liars Why? Why did you lie to your own daughter? I'm no longer a part of you. A matter of fact, this was when I became "Rena" I used to be "Reina", but the eye was a piece of my birthgiver So I got rid of it.

I choose my father, and have tried to help him, as his recent emotional damage has made him very simple to be taken advantage of. So as he hooked up with her, Rina, I felt even more empty now that my family had grown more and more dysfunctional by the day, and I moved away to the old, abandoned van in the dumpster, the one I used to use for treasure hunting. What's even funnier is that my friends tried to always put on a cutesy little act of, "we're here for you, Rena."

Liar.

No one's going to help, anyway. Nor could they.

Friends. Those companions you speak of are only friends during those fun, yet unimportant times. When painful times come, they won't be your ally.

 But recently, as the footsteps get louder, the old happy days are falling out of my hands like little grains of sand. Everything around me has been a lie. And now I was trapped in the cold embrace Of the mysterious footsteps, whispers; Taking over.  I even tried to tell Mion. But she didn't listen. Just because Satako was around, she wouldn't listen.

She burst out laughing, instead. Took it as a joke, a prank. I tried to tell her I was dead serious. I was screaming by then Satako had begun to shake. And that That That was when Mion slapped me.

I don't know why.

But she did it hard, then looked me into the eyes and lectured me to watch what I said around Satako, especially with her blaming herself for her brother's mysterious disappearance. I don't think I've ever felt more...more... Empty. I couldn't feel anything. With everyone turning on me, Rena felt like a delusional idiot for ever believing Rena could find happiness here. Satoko’s brother, Satoshi too.

I was the only one who could help him. I tried, but he He didn't listen Rena didn't try hard enough There was nothing to do. She didn't even try to think of Satoshi. The least I could do was ask if the sonozaki family was involved like people said they were. But she began to walk home a different way.

I tried not to let it bug me, when the next day when Keichii said he noticed that I had changed, it was too much. I began to skip school.

I stayed home for a while, and stared at file 34, laying on the floor of my trailer. But, I couldn't forget the look on her face. Then, the worst possible thing happened.

I began to think back to the past. Memories, bitter memories corrupted my head. I've done horrible things, ever since elementary school. Even to the people who were important to me, I've hurt them too. This is who I am, cruel. You could try and tell me I'm forgiven all you want But I'll never believe it. I'm not overthinking, as if I had never transferred back, Rika May finally have a chance.

I may sometimes say how thick headed it is to find admiration in other thickheads for a false sense of support and unrealistic sense of safety. But I knew better It was nothing but a big lie. But no matter how much I tried to shove others down the drain, I hated myself much more. By now, I've grown so tired of being picked apart, trying to gather it back together in hopes of being happy, only to have it picked apart again, twice as hard. It wouldn't work to keep these venomous thoughts going, as I knew they'd only worsen. But there was no use now, and with this file, I can find the truth and finally be appreciated for something, step out of the shadows.

But then, I heard I knock on the trailer door. I grabbed the cleaver I've known too well. "Who's there?" It was Keichii. I didn't need a second glance to find that out. He stepped inside. Then, I narrowed my eyes.

"What are you doing here? What do you want?" He looks very worried.

"But I want to know what you've been doing"

That's a lie. Get to the point and make me useful to yourself.

His smile disappeared. "Why are you crying? Oh my god Rena, you look deathly pale! I what happened to you?"

_Stop it with the fake sympathy. It feels even emptier than flat out admitting you don't care and have none at all._

It's a real shame. Now that he's seen weakness, I couldn't easily get out of this one. I wiped my eyes dry and stared blankly up at him. The sun was beginning to set, and the cicadas continued to scream their song A haunting, but beautiful song, I've always been rather fond of.

"Keichii, could you tell me something? How do you know if someone is really on your side?" He stopped, surprised by my sudden vocal shift.

"Umm.." He tried to think.

"Go on, Keichii." He started stuttering, "Um..someone who listens, and works alongside you? Kind of like our club. Y-You know, like our club."

_Liar._

"The tell me this" I tried to challenge him. "What would you consider a real friend?"

He looked startled. "Rena, I'm your friend, aren't I?"

_Liar._

"I would never betray you, and no matter, what, I'd always forgive you!"

_Liar._

"Come on Rena, What has gotten into you? You've really changed in the past few days, you know that?"

_Liar._

"But no matter what has gotten into you, or what you've heard, I'm not deceiving you!"

_Liar._

"And neither are the others..."

_LIAR._

"I'm not sure if you've noticed but, I really enjoy the time we spend together in the club."

We? That's a joke. If I were spirited away by that demon right now, you'd run away in fear. "But if I've failed to fit those criteria, I apologize, and could make it up in anyway..."

_Liar._

"Rena, you could commit mortal murder and I'd still help you hide the body! No matter the situation, you have to believe.."

_Liar._

"And don't think you haven't been Important, our club would never be the same!"

_LIAR!_

"Snap out of it, Rena! Not everyone is against you! If this is a joke, it isn't funny. You know damn well how much-"

_Liar._

He began to open his mouth to speak again, but I cut him off. I wiped off my tears and tried to smile at him. "You guys shouldn't waste that close bond with someone like me, like me..." Tears were welling up in my hazy eyes "Because I never cared, anyway."

_**And that is when I became the liar.** _


End file.
